As I listen to my mobile classroom today, I felt directed by God to write about the past.
It was around 2009-2010, I was 20something, young and kinyis-kinyis (Indonesian would say so).
I was in love, we were in love. I thought so.
He was a swag. Tall, cool, manly, rich, well-educated, popular, athletic; a womaniser! Even the most popular and hot girl drooled on him.
Long story short, we broke up, I was heart broken.
And looking back, it was not love. It was the wrong guy. But the right moment. WHY?
Because God wanted to teach me very important things.
The lessons?
I was so brokenhearted (or so I thought). Cried myself to bed, woking up hoping that I am still asleep, zombie walking and doing everything, feeling miserable most of the time, loose so many weight (yeayy to the weight!!).
But, then I realised, it was not about the guy, nor the end of relationship. It was about my insecurity, my naivety, my child-like thought, those are the cause of my gloomy days. And looking back now, I really.... really....really... really thanking God, that it happened. And that it ended (before bad things happened).
God wants to teach me to have dignity and self esteem, to be strong in Him, and so on and so on (He is still teaching me, but if I was a beginner back then, I am an Intermediate student now).
How do I know that He was teaching me?
Because, He spoke to me very clearly:
1. I commute daily to and from the office using a public transport, Transjakarta. I went down at Halte Atma Jaya to commute home. There was a used-book seller at the bridge (imagine a dirty bridge, made of iron like floor -- it has hole here and there), and I used to stop there every now and then. So I know the types of book he used to sell. The books were orderly laid down on the iron-floor.
But that day, that sad and gloomy day, as I stop and bent down as I used to. My eyes were hooked to a book, the book is in English, and it was brand new... the pages were new, no mark of worn-out, no crump -- spotless. Knowing that seller, it was not possible.
In my heart, I felt a very strong urge to buy, very strong. "buy.... buy... BUY".
And it was sold so so so cheap. I forgot how much, but I just remember... when he mentioned the price, I thought "Boy! he does not know how to price this book. This is an imported book, and it says best seller, and it is brand new"
So without a doubt, I bought it.
Oh my Goodness. It was really really really life changing. The author and the book was exactly what I need. It was like she was talking about me and to me, on my problems - spot on! The heartbreak was not about the guy, it was a tool, a moment that God used, to scream at me: you are selfish, you need to change. You have this and that flaws, you need to change.
It was so clear.
I experience an enlightenment! Seriously.
I then download so many speech of the author, and I save it to my yellow Ipod. It never separates from me. At all times I listened to it, at the Transjakarta, at my home... until I fell asleep (and it builds a positive mood when I woke up, it help me sleep well too... during the gloomy and cry-me-a-river moment).
It was very clear to me, that God is speaking. Want to know the title and author? READ THROUGH! (LOL)
2. Not so long after that (couple of months). I went to Singapore with my girl-friends. It was my first overseas trip, paid from my own pocket as a fresh-graduate.
I remember, we were going up at the MRT stairs, so many people passes... so crowded, I was a bit left behind my friends. It was then, an India(n) guy who was with his 2 friends. They passed me, but then, this guy went back... and approached me. He said "Hey, where are you from?" "Indonesia" I answered. Then, I don't remember the exact words by words, but basically he said "I have a premonition, you were not good back then, but you recently change. And as you change, your future change... you have a great future from now on". And then he left, disappeared in the crowd.
And I do have a better future. In terms of my character. God showed me, what and how should I change. I am still a work in progress. But that period of my life, made me realise and recognise who I am, who I was, and who I should be.
Thank God for that moment.
Have you ever experience similar moment?
The book and author: Battlefield of the Mind, Joyce Meyer.
Happy reading. Read it. Really. It is very very very good.
XOXO,
Beni
It was around 2009-2010, I was 20something, young and kinyis-kinyis (Indonesian would say so).
I was in love, we were in love. I thought so.
He was a swag. Tall, cool, manly, rich, well-educated, popular, athletic; a womaniser! Even the most popular and hot girl drooled on him.
Long story short, we broke up, I was heart broken.
And looking back, it was not love. It was the wrong guy. But the right moment. WHY?
Because God wanted to teach me very important things.
The lessons?
I was so brokenhearted (or so I thought). Cried myself to bed, woking up hoping that I am still asleep, zombie walking and doing everything, feeling miserable most of the time, loose so many weight (yeayy to the weight!!).
But, then I realised, it was not about the guy, nor the end of relationship. It was about my insecurity, my naivety, my child-like thought, those are the cause of my gloomy days. And looking back now, I really.... really....really... really thanking God, that it happened. And that it ended (before bad things happened).
God wants to teach me to have dignity and self esteem, to be strong in Him, and so on and so on (He is still teaching me, but if I was a beginner back then, I am an Intermediate student now).
How do I know that He was teaching me?
Because, He spoke to me very clearly:
1. I commute daily to and from the office using a public transport, Transjakarta. I went down at Halte Atma Jaya to commute home. There was a used-book seller at the bridge (imagine a dirty bridge, made of iron like floor -- it has hole here and there), and I used to stop there every now and then. So I know the types of book he used to sell. The books were orderly laid down on the iron-floor.
But that day, that sad and gloomy day, as I stop and bent down as I used to. My eyes were hooked to a book, the book is in English, and it was brand new... the pages were new, no mark of worn-out, no crump -- spotless. Knowing that seller, it was not possible.
In my heart, I felt a very strong urge to buy, very strong. "buy.... buy... BUY".
And it was sold so so so cheap. I forgot how much, but I just remember... when he mentioned the price, I thought "Boy! he does not know how to price this book. This is an imported book, and it says best seller, and it is brand new"
So without a doubt, I bought it.
Oh my Goodness. It was really really really life changing. The author and the book was exactly what I need. It was like she was talking about me and to me, on my problems - spot on! The heartbreak was not about the guy, it was a tool, a moment that God used, to scream at me: you are selfish, you need to change. You have this and that flaws, you need to change.
It was so clear.
I experience an enlightenment! Seriously.
I then download so many speech of the author, and I save it to my yellow Ipod. It never separates from me. At all times I listened to it, at the Transjakarta, at my home... until I fell asleep (and it builds a positive mood when I woke up, it help me sleep well too... during the gloomy and cry-me-a-river moment).
It was very clear to me, that God is speaking. Want to know the title and author? READ THROUGH! (LOL)
2. Not so long after that (couple of months). I went to Singapore with my girl-friends. It was my first overseas trip, paid from my own pocket as a fresh-graduate.
I remember, we were going up at the MRT stairs, so many people passes... so crowded, I was a bit left behind my friends. It was then, an India(n) guy who was with his 2 friends. They passed me, but then, this guy went back... and approached me. He said "Hey, where are you from?" "Indonesia" I answered. Then, I don't remember the exact words by words, but basically he said "I have a premonition, you were not good back then, but you recently change. And as you change, your future change... you have a great future from now on". And then he left, disappeared in the crowd.
And I do have a better future. In terms of my character. God showed me, what and how should I change. I am still a work in progress. But that period of my life, made me realise and recognise who I am, who I was, and who I should be.
Thank God for that moment.
Have you ever experience similar moment?
The book and author: Battlefield of the Mind, Joyce Meyer.
Happy reading. Read it. Really. It is very very very good.
XOXO,
Beni
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